He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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