If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Randomize
