sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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