i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
A+ Viking dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
