Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
