the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
