Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
