is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
