I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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