There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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