I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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