My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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