I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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