Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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