i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
