i wish my penis had a tongue
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
