no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize