Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He told me they were just razor bumps!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
