I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
whose parrot is this?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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