the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
