i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
