Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize