just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
