You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
