Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
