one two three fourrrrnication!
i think i have two assholes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
