I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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