Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
