We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
