BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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