One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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