somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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