I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
