Plan B is the new Plan A
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
