your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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