I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
