He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
