Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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