4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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