There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
