why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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