dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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