It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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