u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
