so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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