i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
