This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
