Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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