you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
