I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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