brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
