the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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