HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this will be a night to untag.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
