And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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