I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
