This beer is not sobering me up at all
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
