I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
