The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
